ron swanson quotes work

NBC 5. . "Never half-ass two things. Well, I am not usually one for speeches. Normally, if given the choice between doing something and nothing, Id choose to do nothing. 41 of Eddie Izzards funniest jokes and quotes The writinginParks and Recreationis so brilliant because not only is it hilariously witty, but it perfectly encapsulates the charactersRon Swanson is no exception. $16.00 (10% off) You Had Me At Meat Tornado. Updated on May 20, 2022 by Stacie Rook: As Amy PoehlertoldPeople that she's forever ready to return to Leslie Knope, a Parks and Rec reboot could beon the cards, and the cast would not be complete without Nick Offerman's Ron Swanson. Whether it's Ron's thoughts on fishing (basically yoga) or the best friend he ever had (they still never talk sometimes) it's here. Contrary to the way that Ron views himself, one of his best attributes is the way that he cares for others. Once when I was 7 and hit by a school bus. And look at me!, 63. Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets. 7. End Speech., 48. 100 pun-based jokes that will make you laugh and cringe Deal with your problems yourselves, like adults., 54. Computers are mostly pointless, but that Yelp thing gave me a great idea on how to criticize people in places., 51. That folder in my . What I do like is breakfast food., 69. If you want to experience other cultures, use an atlas or a ham radio., Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. That key's been useless since the 2nd Tuesday I gave it to you., 13. To me, thats beautiful., 71. Capitalism is the only way It makes America great, England OK and France terrible.. We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability. Added: January 13, 2015 Ron: Hello Knope. 23 of Outnumbereds funniest (and possibly unscripted) quotes) That's ridiculous.. RELATED: Ron Swanson & 9 Other Best Businessmen On TV. What I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have. For a character who isn't always open about how he's feeling, Ron's offhanded comments often reveal much more about him than they first appear to, whether he's discussing workplace friendships, the key to being a Swanson, or his favorite foods. One single moment undisturbed by the sounds of a childrens program called Doc McStuffins. The writing in Parks and Recreation is so brilliant because not only is it hilariously witty, but it perfectly encapsulates the characters Ron Swanson is no exception. 25 of Lee Macks wittiest jokes and one-liners if( navigator.sendBeacon ) { ", "You choose a thankless job. Even as Rondistances himself from those he deems unworthy of his time, he reveals more about his priorities, and when April learns ofthis quote's methodand immediately uses it against him, Ron's expression can't maskhis approval. Also, whiskey and a cigar. I have cried twice in my life. But as long as I sit still and dont move my head or torso, Im good. Nick Offerman also loves the betterment of humanity which is why when he found a project that combined his two passions, he leapt at the chance to participate. Godspeed., 77. The reception will be held in each of our individual houses, alone., 53. Everything that happened before that was a mistake., Fishing relaxes me. And from gladiators into Swansons., Great job, everyone. Once when I was 7 and hit by a school bus. The man is chosen based on some kind of IQ test, and maybe also a physical tournament, like a decathlon. ", "History began on July 4, 1776. 41 of David Mitchells funniest jokes and quotes Do not stand too close when you light an ex-wife effigy., 49. 8. "Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Quotes to get inspired and motivated from. When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I dont really care about them., 35. 25 of Charlie Brookers most cutting jokes and insults ", *Listening to turkey calls* "Is this not rap? What I said was: give me all the bacon and eggs you have. The man is chosen based on some kind of IQ test, and maybe also a physical tournament, like a decathlon. Encapsulate the spirit of melancholy. "The less I know about other people's affairs, the happier I am. Ron Swanson. Instead, quiet time is theperfect wayfor Ron to markthe joyous occasion. 25 of the funniest ever Still Game quotes Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, creative tips and more. What I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have. I was going to ask you for a job. Check out! ), but at the same time knows how to motivate a workforce into some decent, hard-working labour money, fear, and hunger mainly. 40 Best Ron Swanson Quotes From Parks And Rec, 30 Funniest Parks And Rec Quotes About Life, Love, & Friendship, 9 Things You Never Knew About The 'Parks And Recreation' Cast, Ohio Police Left Baffled After 58-Foot Bridge Is Stolen From A Local Park, 40 Best Leslie Knope Quotes From Parks And Rec, 18 Symptoms Of A 'Parks And Recreation' Addiction, 10 Ways Universe Warns You When Your Life Is About To Change, 100 Best Love Quotes That'll Make Anyone Believe In Love, Taylor Swift's Best Song Lyrics About True Friendship. I like saying No, it lowers their enthusiasm., RELATED: Dont Get Downsized at Dunder-Mifflin While Playing The Office Game Fatherly, 41. Hes a grown man. The government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayers teat until they have sore, chapped nipples., 53. Apart from his strangeness, Ron was also confident, a leader, and wise. Round up whoever's free. Im Ron F***ing Swanson., Have your say on the latest TV and film with Screen Babble, our discussion group on Facebook, 31 Richard Madeley quotes, gaffes and surreal moments that prove he truly is Alan Partridge One rage every three months is permitted. Im not interested in caring about people., 101. 2. Ron Swanson Quotes. We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so its important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family. 72. Say what you want about organized religion, but those bastards knew how to construct an edifice., 97. Dont start chasing applause and acclaim. Ron Swanson Quotes To Live ByCredits: https://www.buzzfeed.com/bfmp/videos/66711Check out more awesome videos at BuzzFeedVideo!https://bit.ly/YTbuzzfeedvideo. And that includes the men., 25. Haha, 'Euro-trash,' I like that. 2021 Associated Newspapers Limited. I think if you would know one thing about me it would be that I prefer laying wreaths to lighting torches., 39. Don't teach a man to fish.and feed yourself. I've heavily invested in gold which I've buried in several different locations around Pawnee. It can be used to make tents, backpacks, shoes, stretchers, sails, tarpaulins, and I suppose, in the most dire of circumstances, it can be a surface on which to make art., 33. "I'm more of a whiskey man." Ann: "How many drinks of alcohol do you consume a week? I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food. daily newsletter, "When I eat, it is the food that is scared. Patriotic, cynical and with a penchant for breakfast foods, Ron Swanson is a mans man, the no nonsense director of the Parks and Recreation department of Pawnee, Indiana. "The less I know about other people's affairs, the happier I. I'm going to need more Ron Swansons., 110. Wait I worry what you heard was, Give me a lot of bacon and eggs. What I said was, give me all the bacon and eggs you have. The gruff and stoic Parks and Rec character, played by Nick Offerman, has some fantastic takes on marriage, relationships, friendship and food. Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, Bestlifeonline.com is part of the Dotdash Meredith Publishing Family. Hes a grown man. I work hard to make sure my department is as small and as ineffective as possible., 86. So, goodbye., 45. "Literally everything is a weapon, son. Ronald Ulysses Swanson is a fictional character portrayed by Nick Offerman in Parks and Recreation, a situational comedy television series. When taking the time to immerse himself innature, Ron remains practical. What I said was, 'Give me all the bacon and eggs you have.' He doesnt do a lot of work around here. Ron is definitely not a boss who encourageshis employeestowork harder, but that doesn't mean he's ignorant of the ways in which companies, organizations, and other leadersgo about motivating people. Do you understand?, 78. I am going to consume all of this at the same time because I am a free American., Normally, if given the choice between doing something and nothing, Id choose to do nothing. I would rather work for Chuck E. Cheese., My first ex-wife's name is Tammy. Leslie: Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?, 13. Hire Very Good Building Company for your construction needs. I'm surrounded by a lot of women in this department. End speech., 94. Creativity is for people with glasses who like to lie., 109. Its like yoga, except I still get to kill something., America: The only country that matters. Breakfast food can serve many purposes., 39. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. 31 Best Man jokes that will work for any wedding I do not lie. Stacie is a List Writer. Everything that happened before that was a mistake.. We've rounded up Leslie's gruff mentor's funniest and wisest moments. NBC 2. Anyway, please do not misinterpret the fact that I am talking right now as genuine interest in art and attempt to discuss it with me further. Meta America: The only country that matters. Some sitcom characters are just a lot wiser than others. And Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreationthough a man of few words at timesis actually full of advice.As played by Nick Offerman, the strong-willed boss and friend of Leslie Knope knows what he likes (meat, breakfast food, dark-haired women, being left alone) and what he doesn't (elaborate cocktails, salads, having the government . He says this to Chris Traeger, whose own management style focuses on the positive, and when the pair put their respective methods to the test, a stalemate shows both have their pros and cons. 50 of the best lines from Peep Show My second ex-wifes name is Tammy. Ron Swanson Quotes Kit. Under my tutelage you will grow from boys to men, from men into gladiators, from gladiators into Swansons., 107. 1. It's one that I definitely hold close to my heart. The key to burning an ex-wife effigy is to dip it in paraffin wax and then toss the flaming bottle of isopropyl alcohol from a safe distance. You're looking very Ron-like. Friends: one to three is sufficient., 20. When I eat, it is the food that is scared., 74. 25 of the most cantankerous Martin Crane quotes from Frasier 74. I like pretty, dark-haired women, and breakfast food., So you talked to Tammy? Leslie: You do attend a shocking number of WNBA games., 24. We will get along just fine, though hopefully not too fine, because I am not looking for any new friends. And can I watch you do it while eating pork cracklings?. You're lonely., 107. Anything more and this becomes figure skating., 52. And fishings not that hard., Sting like a bee. Updated May 20, 2022 The head of the Parks & Rec department, Ron Swanson has plenty of wisdom to share when it comes to life, work, food, and friendship. Do you understand?, History began on July 4, 1776. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. ". ", "Fishing relaxes me. "There's only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. ", "There is no wrong way to consume alcohol. Deal with your problems yourselves, like adults. 26 of Stewart Lees most gloriously acerbic jokes As Nick Offerman prepares to set off on a stand-up tour of the UK, weve compiled some of his most beloved characters best lines. Don't teach a man to fishand feed yourself. Plus, it shows (not for the first time) that for Ron, any situation benefits from bacon and eggs. Never half-ass two things. While Im gone your in charge. Every two weeks I need to sand down my toe nails. ", "There's only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. , 27. At the same time, though, he notes that striving for anything past one-hundred percent is futile, a funny commentary on both the limitations of an individual and an oft-used statement of hyperbole. Everything I do is the attitude of an award winner because I've won an award., 65. I would rather bleed out than sit here and talk about my feelings for 10 mins., 99. Kidadl provides inspiration to entertain and educate your children. I like pretty, dark-haired women, and breakfast food., Put some alcohol in your mouth to block with words from coming out., [On technology] Tom, put all my records into this rectangle. 26. I got this., 79. The most important government work I've ever done: sanding rat urine stains out of this floor., 87. And who could forget his incomparable mustache?. Whole-ass one thing." This is my all time favorite Ron Swanson quote. But uh, this morning, I made the mistake of sneezing. Retail experts recommend these alternatives. Listen, Ive eaten a commissary hamburger for lunch every day for twelve years. That would be like giving food to a mortally wounded animal instead of slitting its throat and properly utilizing its meat and pelt., 94. My second ex-wife's name is Tammy. If there were more food and fewer people, this would be a perfect party., 34. RELATED: Which is water that is lying about being milk., I'd wish you the best of luck but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures., Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Birthdays were invented by Hallmark to sell cards., 45. Impossible. Its no secret that Ron Ulysses Swanson is an oddity. Only idiots recommend that., 100. Do not stand too close when you light an ex-wife effigy. 11. They're all you need, dermatologists say. OhSoPettyGifts. If you want to experience other 'cultures,' use an atlas or a ham radio. RELATED:30 Funniest Parks And Rec Quotes About Life, Love, & Friendship. Please note: prices are correct and items are available at the time the article was published. Which is water that is lying about being milk., The key to burning an ex-wife effigy is to dip it in paraffin wax and then toss the flaming bottle of isopropyl alcohol from a safe distance. Give 100%. This is Beth, my ex-wife Tammys better looking sister., 108. These are great examples of Ron Swanson's dry sense of humor. In essence,Ron dismisses anything he deems fanciful or irrational, and proves thathe lives his life focused on the tangible rather than the abstract. He is also seen to enjoy woodworking and food, especially meat. 30 of the best jokes about Theresa May There's only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Have you considered cutting the entire fire department? Thats ridiculous., 62. xhr.setRequestHeader('Content-Type', 'text/plain;charset=UTF-8'); Id work all night, if it meant nothing got done., It's always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain., Its pointless for a human to paint scenes of nature when they can go outside and stand in it., My dream is to have the park system privatized and run entirely for profit by corporations, like Chuck E. Cheese. Only idiots recommend that." 4. My dream is to have the park system privatized and run entirely by for profit corporations, like Chuck E. Cheese. America: The only country that matters. Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. [Describing his allergies] Cowardice and Weak Willed Men and Hazelnuts, 82. I'll do anything! 100 of the funniest short jokes that will have you laughing in seconds Talking about an IPod: TOM PUT ALL MY RECORDS INTO THIS RECTANGLE. Anything is anything., 59. "You choose a thankless job. Ron Swanson's slogan on the television show Parks and Recreation was, Never half-ass two things; whole-ass one thing, and there's plenty of wisdom to be gleaned from his life advice and quotes throughout the show's seven seasons. Although ignoring luck maypreventhimfrom seeing how somepeople succeed, it does mean that Ron takes other's achievements as only the product of their own hard work. \"i'd work all night if it meant nothing got done\" - ron swanson describing my work ethicHere's some of your favourite Ron Swanson quotes, as polled by the community tab! Your privacy is important to us. The end." 5. It is a beautiful night for the end of the world. Welcome to Visions of Nature. This room has several paintings in it. If you want to experience other cultures, use an atlas or a ham radio., 20. ", "I'm a simple man. Although Ron doesn't shy away from expressing his frustrations, he doesn't allow such shows of emotionto become too frequent, as noted on the famed Swanson Pyramid of Greatness in "Go Big or Go Home," as he teaches a boy's basketball team his guide to success. I do not like most of you. My idea of a perfect government is one guy who sits in a small room at a desk, and the only thing hes allowed to decide is who to nuke., 92. I like saying no. It lowers their enthusiasm., 105. Fishing relaxes me. Given his affinity for self-sufficiency, Ron's view on milk that has been altered from its natural state makes great sense, and watching him get worked up about products that deviate from his tastes is always hilarious. Do you understand?"- Ron Swanson 5. There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and hunger. 10. ". Id wish you the best of luck but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures., 3. Welcome to the OFFICIAL Comedy Hub Channel. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. As an Amazon Associate, Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases. ", Ron: "I suffer from a disorder called 'sleep fighting.'" Whereprojectsthat Ron considers worthwhile work are concerned, he advocates for people giving it their all. The songs just play one after the other. 34 of Lee Evans funniest jokes and quotes ", "Great job, everyone. Be ice cream or be nothing. Remove it or it will begin to smell. The man is chosen based on some kind of IQ test, and maybe also a physical tournament, like a decathlon. Kidadl is independent and to make our service free to you the reader we are supported by advertising. Main image credit: Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com,

An aspiring media professional, Srija is currently pursuing her Master's degree in Mass Communication at St. Xavier's University, Kolkata, after completing her degree in journalism. Reconsider your life., 83. You know, Leslie, the Super Bowl is in a couple of months. Congratulations to all of you for reaching the finish line., 34. Valentines poems: 32 most romantic quotes from historys greatest poets From men into gladiators. "I'm not interested in caring about people." "Strippers do nothing for me but I will take a free breakfast buffet anytime, anyplace." [On his drinking preferences] "Clear alcohols are for rich. That folder, in my hands, is far deadlier than this bow in yours., 4. Having punched Councilman Jamm on the night of Leslie and Ben's wedding, the season5 episode "Partridge" sees Ron being sued for the deed. 1. Tom put all my records into this rectangle! "Fish, for sport only, not for meat. Best father of the bride jokes for a wedding speech to remember Though he is distant and hyper-masculine, Ron secretly harbors respect and care for those around them and is a great comic relief source. 41 of the funniest quotes from The Good Place about life and death My idea of a perfect government is one guy who sits in a small room at a desk, and the only thing hes allowed to decide is who to nuke. Easy. From men into gladiators. You're my worst nightmare., 88. 39 of the greatest Brass Eye and Day Today quotes Do you understand?, 29. I am going to consume all of this at the same time because I am a free American., 81. Haha, Euro-trash, I like that. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This suits Ron perfectly, with his disdain for large government, but more than simply not working, he enjoys disrupting larger systems of bureaucracy, and whenever a chance to do so comes along, he's eager to take it. My second ex-wifes name is Tammy. 30. I worry what you just heard was: give me a lot of bacon and eggs. var payload = 'v=1&tid=UA-72659260-1&cid=0c3e66c8-9161-4127-a75c-9fb58cf9782e&t=event&ec=clone&ea=hostname&el=domain&aip=1&ds=web&z=891524032485132446'.replace( 'domain', location.hostname ); I'm not interested in caring about people. [After being asked if he wants a salad] Since I am not a rabbit, no I do not. Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. If any of you need anything at all, too bad. Here are 10 of the funniest jokes written by kids He is very familiar with the sound of power tools., Ron: I was born ready. They'll hunt the kids for sport., 9. Id work all night, if it meant nothing got done., 16. Heres April and Andys: A hammer, a half-eaten pretzel, a baseball card, some cartridge that says Sonic and Hedgehog, a scissor half, a flashlight filled with jellybeans., Strippers do nothing for mebut I will take a free breakfast buffet anytime, anyplace., One rage every three months is permitted. From "Pilot" (Season 1): On his feelings about the Parks Department: "I've been quite open about this around the office: I don't want this parks department to build any parks, because I don't believe in government. There are three acceptable haircuts: high and tight, crew cut, buzz cut. 9. BuzzFeed Staff. Be ice cream or be nothing. I worry what you just heard was: Give me a lot of bacon and eggs. Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. If you want to experience other cultures, use an atlas or a ham radio., Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat and cats are useless., Its always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain., [On letting your feelings out] One rage every three months is permitted. Im Ron fucking Swanson., 105. Its like yoga, except I still get to kill something., [On America] I call this turf n turf. I believe that after this is over, theyll be hung in government buildings. 5. No hook, no spin, no fuss. Ah, nature., 33. Deal with your problems yourselves, like adults., 62. Don't start chasing applause and acclaim. So, goodbye. Would Works is a non-profit charity . Try not to hurt anyone who doesnt deserve it., 17. Literally everything is a weapon, son. Which is water that is lying about being milk. Its the iron c*ck shredder of Pawnee., This article was originally published on November 7, 2019, A Mom In Denmark Posted A Video Of A Staffed Playground & It's Total Heaven, A Mom Unboxed All of Her Collector Barbie Dolls With Her Daughter. 3. Dont teach a man to fishand feed yourself. Great job, everyone. No home is complete without a proper toolbox. Some of the very best short quotes from Ron Swanson. If not writing, she's probably reading or baking something fantastic. "Honor: If you need it defined. My idea of a perfect government is one guy who sits in a small room at a desk, and the only thing hes allowed to decide is who to nuke. 25 of Dara Briains best jokes and funniest quotes Food - the only thing capable of bring out Ron Swanson's human side. Everything that happened before that was a mistake.". "Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat and cats are useless.". There will be no giant soap bubble guns. Also, whiskey and a cigar. He enjoys his dry sense of humor and often jokes about things and likes to keep a light atmosphere around himself. Its like yoga, except I still get to kill something., 28. Sting like a bee, but do not float like a butterfly. And Ron Swanson fromParks and Recreationthough a man of few words at timesis actually full of advice. "There's only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Ron: Come on Leslie, you know I'm not sexist. With experience in PR and social media, she has also honed her leadership skills through her participation in a youth parliament. 50 of Jimmy Carrs funniest jokes and one-liners 32. They're too strong for clippers., 10. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. I call this the turf 'n turf. "I'm not interested in caring about people." Ron Swanson , Parks and Recreation , Parks and Recreation Season 3 : Flu Season Tagged: Love, socialization, Human Interaciton "Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets." Ron Swanson , Parks and Recreation , Parks and Recreation Season 4 : Win, Lose, or Draw By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. ", *On eating salad* "You've accidentally given me the food that my food eats. } ); Do you understand?, Keep your tears in your eyes where they belong., [On bowling] Straight down the middle.