We are sorry that this post was not useful for you! I believe that people put down others to feel in control. Therefore they put you down as a counterattack. Theyre often angry and resentful of the success of others because they feel trapped in their own lives and lack direction and purpose. Focus on solutions:Instead of dwelling on the negative, look for ways to solve the problem and improve the situation. Effects Coping If you are a people-pleaser, it might mean that you are known for doing whatever it takes to make other people happy. It is not that they do not like you but they are fearful that you may take away opportunities from their hands. At a very young age, many of us lack self-confidence. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.". Decreased Motivation:Criticism can reduce a persons motivation and drive. Sometimes these verbal attacks come from strangers, sometimes from people who should know better family members or close friends who feel entitled to bash anyone who gets in their way in any way. They Think It Makes Them More Powerful. Not all friends are really your friends. You do this in your mind, and not out loud to the other person. Too many people try to muddle through and do their best to overcome issues that they never really get to grips with. Why? Enlightio's content is for informational and educational purposes only. In fact, you arent building your self-esteem when you put others down. Licensed Professional Counselor | Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist | CEO, New Dimensions Day Treatment Centers. Competing:If someone is always trying to one-up you or make you feel inferior, they may be putting you down. It may be a choice that we make, depending on the situation. Related: How to Overcome the Inferiority Complex? Articles. It also gives them a sense of control which is very satisfying for a hardcore narcissist. Its not easy to hear mean words said about you and not be impacted by them in your heart and mind. They might want to be the prettiest or smartest person in the room. This is not because of their own efforts but because they have made others come down one step! 392 AmberLeigh33 May 3rd, 2016 7:13am There are two different types of insecure people; those that put others down to help themselves feel taller, and those that try to build others up, hoping that others will do the same for them. However, some people have no problem putting others down and enjoy it when it makes them squirm. Nobody likes to feel small or insignificant. As a result, French people can be very critical and often judgmental, as you might have experienced if you have visited France. Are they deliberately putting others down, or is this an entirely unconscious process and their constant undermining of others is just a very unpleasant habit? We all know those people who present themselves as very secure and brag about themselves. It can be very demoralizing and make you feel like you're not good enough. Its part of what enables us to have positive social interactions we care about how our behavior affects others because we can empathize with them when they feel upset or hurt by our actions (or inactions). You might choose to not have that person in your life anymore, for instance. But what are the reasons why people put others down? This doesnt mean you have to allow this sort of behavior to continue unchecked, but it does allow you to approach the situation from a calmer and more diplomatic position. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice. This is one of the most apparent factors in how individuals behave due to the things influencing them at home. A good way to respond to a put down is to simply laugh at it. When a giant ego stands in the way of clear and mature understanding, putting others down becomes a mere game. But what is the real reason behind this act? It becomes a vicious cycle, and nobody wins in that frame of mind! You have a name, a history, a personality. Marketing Specialist, Kostex Garage Repair. They may express themselves in ways that dont quite reflect their underlying thoughts or opinions. They suffer from what the late psychology pioneer (and contemporary of Freud) Alfred Adler called an inferiority feeling, which was then renamed by others as what is popularly known as an inferiority complex.. Verbally abusive people are often bullies, insecure, and/or jealous of other people. They Hold Negative Feelings Towards You. Phrases such as, Youre so naive, You dont know what youre talking about, and I cant believe you really think that, are all forms of belittling. In this case, they must see a therapist or counselor who can help them deal with these problems so that they dont put others down as a coping mechanism. Take control:Instead of letting others dictate how you feel, take control of your emotions and focus on your own happiness and well-being. "Being able to be your true self is one of the strongest components of good mental health.". Emotions have led people to do all sorts of things they later regret-like, oh, throwing a book at someone else.". Eventually, your mind will be able to counter the negative comments in real-time so that you can bat them away without ever having let them permeate your mind. They don't compare themselves to other people Measuring your happiness, wealth and appearance against other people drains you of mental. Keep the previous section in mind and consider that, in many cases, they are saying hurtful words from their own position of pain and/or misery. Xenophobia is common in people; we all experience it to some degree at different times in our lives. Licensed Psychotherapist | Author, Let Go of Emotional Overeating and Love Your Food: A Five-Point Plan for Success. But their words dont hold any power over you by themselves. 4. So, to avoid having to try, they use mockery and put downs as a means of distraction and to prevent any heartfelt conversations from taking place. Periodically during the day, stop and evaluate what you're thinking. Sometimes we experience this kind of treatment from our family, friends, and coworkers. But now that they are older and trying to make their way in the world, their financial situation isnt what it used to be, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy or even shame about having fallen from a higher class to a lower one on the social ladder. You might be wondering why on earth you would thank someone who has just made fun of you or belittled you in some way. Why? We need to forgive ourselves and embark on a transformational journey to become confident and self-empowered. They have narcissistic personalities and need to feel that theyre better than everyone else. For them, putting others down is a way to establish their superiority over others. Bullies dont have enough empathy, so they dont understand how their words or actions make others feel. This article will look at why someone feels better by putting others down and hence explain the psychology behind it. You might be concerned how hard someone is working for a certain test so you tell them you knew a person who passed the exam without studying. The key is leaning into these feelings and knowing that it starts within. I feel that all of my relationships are very fragile, especially my friendships. Humans are social animals who need to be accepted and validated by others to feel fulfilled in life. The conscious mind includes all that we are aware of whereas our unconscious mind holds our inner and unknown or unrealized motivations, desires and feelings and thoughts. We can respond instead of reacting, which keeps our power intact. 5 Ways People Show Love and Appreciation Say "No" More Often Sometimes, the more you do for people without complaining, the more they expect you to do. But no matter what, if someone treats you badly, theres always a reason! However, some people take this approach in other situations, thinking that it will help others feel more positively toward them. They could pass comments about your achievements saying it isnt much of a big deal. 30 Reasons Why People Put Others Down By The Editors Updated on July 6, 2022 Everyone has been in a situation where they have been put down by another person. Some people find it difficult to deal with their feelings. Manipulation:This can involve using emotional or psychological tactics to control or exploit someone for personal gain. Having control. They tend to put people down because they envy them. When youre the target of belittling, it can be difficult to understand where this aggression is coming from. It is difficult it really is. Or perhaps, as hinted at above, they were trying to give you some honest, but hard to hear, advice and it simply came out wrong. A well-timed witty comment among friends is good humor. Sometimes people want to put you down because they are hurting and dont feel good about themselves. Its source may not be someone you know well and love but could well be from someone on the periphery of your social circle or even from someone you have just met. They need positive interaction and guidance to help them make good habits when dealing with other people. This article looked at the psychology behind why people feel better after they put down others and provided multiple reasons for this phenomena. Empathy is the ability to understand and share another persons feelings, thoughts and emotions. Because of my fear of abandonment, it's almost the opposite. If a person often puts you down or makes fun of you, you might wish to get rid of them from your life. This is an unhealthy way of lifting your self-esteem because you only feel as good as the last person you put down. A preoccupation with fantasies of success, power, and brilliance. The article will develop an in-depth understanding of the above topic for the audience. First of all, lets focus on the internal work you ought to do at this point. Neuroscience Coach | Clinical Social Worker. It can make them feel inferior, inadequate, and worthless, leading to a negative self-image. Whether you are the one being put down or you are the one criticizing others, psychotherapy can help. They may not know how to deal with these problems, so they try to put others down to cope with their fears and worries. When you see someone belittling another, its often about them belittling themselves. The truth is that most people who belittle others have deep-seated anger and resentment toward others and take it out on them in the form of belittling them. Perhaps something was said in the heat of the moment when tempers were raised. Instead of facing these problems head-on, they cover them up by belittling others for things that dont even matter (e.g., because they have a different hair color than they do). If someone feels that their life isnt moving forward, they may not care if someone makes fun of them. They need control over others. See more ideas about putting others down, inspirational quotes, words. If we are not aware that we are doing this, we cannot condemn ourselves for this behavior. I applied for that job too! or Congratulations on your new car! And then we have those whose internal feeling of inferiority leads them to a conscious or subconscious desire to bring others down to their level of painful inferiority by making remarks that put others down. They might feel anxious or depressed and tend to lash out at others because they are unsure how to handle their own emotions. For those on the receiving end of a put-down, we can recognize the other persons disempowerment with compassion as we hold our healthy boundaries and personal power. Our perceived lack of power feels uncomfortable and even more disconnected, leading to a direct grab for somebody elses power. Especially in the workplace, it can be common for individuals to feel self-conscious about how they do their jobs. The difference between sarcasm and irony is that the former always aims to cause pain, and the latter suggests a hidden meaning in what you are saying. When we feel excluded, less than, or at risk, we feel disempowered we lack connection and power. Often they cant understand why the target of their mockery is so offended. No one has the right to any of itto any of you without your permission." Why does someone put the other person down to feel better? The objectives one wants to achieve by belittling others could be many! They dont like being in the wrong, so they lash out at people who are in the right. Remember that they dont think of themselves as people who habitually put down others. It comes from a deep-rooted sense of feeling low about their self-image or sense of self. Often the person whos being unkind is unaware of why they are so involved in putting the other person down, and sometimes, helping them to understand better whats happening can be helpful. The Psychology Of Bullying: Why Someone May Put Others Down There can be many possible reasons why a person may feel the need to bully others. People who do this are usually trying to show everyone that theyre better than everyone else, or at least that they think they are. In other words, dont be tempted to use a put down of your own to hurt them like they hurt you. Hence, they try to make up for this lack of self-love by putting others down so that they can feel better about themselves temporarily (until the next time theyre criticized). Their aim is to make you doubt yourself and underperform. Dont engage with the person who is putting others down. A simple key to avoiding this behavioral pattern is to notice when we feel disconnected or disempowered and ask ourselves what do I need right now to feel empowered. They do things that most others simply know not to do. Let's take a look! Furthermore, the article also looked at what psychology is and what does it mean for a person to belittle others. People with a narcissistic personality disorder may have the following characteristics: Mean people enjoy seeing other people suffer. This is an unhealthy and destructive way to deal with ones own difficult feelings. But the truth is, no matter how hard they work or how smart they are, theres always going to be someone who has more money, more popularity, and more relationships. Remember your power: the power to consciously choose how you react emotionally. Touch device users, explore by touch or with swipe gestures. People who deep inside feel very inferior to others may adopt different strategies to cope with daily life. However, the main focus is on predicting and controlling human behavior hence the first two aims support the last two we just mentioned. Invalidators or people who put others down habitually are not born feeling deficient or grossly inferior to others; they acquire these feelings and habitual behavior patterns early in life. This is a toxic way of feeling better about yourself because its based on making others feel worse about themselves. Other people feel threatened when someone has something nice that they dont, whether its an object or a skill (e.g., being good at basketball or singing). Through self-reflection, we can discover this unconditional love and acceptance for ourselves; once we accomplish this, the need to put others down vanishes. When people criticize others unfairly, and unkindly the reason usually has to do with their own insecurities. "Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Bullying is a common way people put others down. Mental Health Issues:Being repeatedly criticized can increase the risk of developing mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, and stress. The takedown or putting others down is a power play by somebody who feels powerless. Even at an early age, they learn how to compete and do everything to make them higher than others, which negatively impacts them. Perhaps theyre struggling with insecurities, emotions, mental health issues, or childhood trauma. Given their low self-esteem, it aggrieves them to see someone else doing well, in any sense of the word. Those who bring other people down, in my opinion, are deeply ashamed about their lives. Answer (1 of 5): I do not try to put my friends down. Hence, to push you off track and possibly hamper your efforts and affect your work, they will start belittling you. Emotional Pain:Negative comments can cause emotional pain and hurt feelings. Impact on Relationships:Putting others down can also harm relationships. People may acquire xenophobic views through learned behaviors or experiences rather than being born with them. If you are with a group of people and you dont want to leave entirely, you could just disappear for a few minutes to let the conversation move on to something else. We can often learn and grow from what pains us, moving forward to a happier, healthier life. When someone puts you down there is often a motive or reason behind it or an aim that the person wants to achieve that will ultimately make them feel better. A friend once asked me whether he should confront an invalidator. Speak to an accredited and experienced therapist if someone is putting you down and its affecting your mental health. Sure, if a person repeatedly puts you down, it will certainly affect your relationship with them, but you have control over this. While being kind and helpful is generally a good thing, going too far to please others can leave you feeling emotionally depleted, stressed, and anxious. Scarcity thinking is a mindset that leads to low self-esteem, jealousy, envy, resentment, and anger. They dont have the skills or knowledge to express what they want, so they resort to put-downs to express themselves. Insecure people dont think much of themselves, so they use others to make themselves feel better. If you are treated poorly long enough, you tend to feel bad about yourself.
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